Gray skys are gonna clear up....

Remember the good luck I wanted? I think it worked.

I was very worried about this job I had been offered last December and then didn't hear anything about. Now it was a position working with the State and I knew it would take time but I also expected a "we're dealing with paperwork, please be patient" response when instead a voice mail and an email received no response.

Of course a girl still has to eat, so I started this temp job. However, in the course of being sent out on interviews, I was tempted and tried for a temp-to perm job (yes, I'd pretty much given up). Fortunately and unfortunately, they wanted to hire me immediately! And then, that is when damn Hope made its return. So, I had to turn down employer-paid health insurance and a higher salary.

Ugghh, my life for the last 4 years has been ALL about fresh starts and looking toward the future, when I really just want to be living that life NOW.

If this is the career (despite being low paying) that I want, this job (basically a paid internship, no benefits-thing) is the "intelligent" decision. It will get me in there before I even finish my degree, expose me to the issues, and get me acquainted with the main players in this town.

So yes, ideally this is the position I should have been in 15 years ago, but I didn't know myself well enough then. I had no idea what my strengths were or how deep my convictions would lie. I first had to experience a career I loved and have the realities of it (loneliness, no time for a social life, no help when needed, long hours, and little or no recognition for your hard work) slowly wear me down.

I received an email yesterday that said:

"Sorry for delay in getting back with you [ ] time got away from me on this. ...I have passed along the request to refill the position - will get back with you on either Tuesday or Wednesday, once I have heard back to see if you would still like to take on the position."

So all I can say is stay positive, despite all.

It seems to have worked this time. I also got into the two classes I wanted that were full to capacity, people dropped out the first night and I swooped right in! Remember, my whole reason for being in this city is to graduate. No classes being taken, no reason to be here.