Okay, I wasn't going to write about the New year transition. I personally had a bad year and just couldn't wait to see the back of 2016 (I know I'm not the only one!) However, I feel I have to acknowledge the end of one year to truly appreciate the beginning of another.
Since May, I've been in a holding pattern professionally and an apathetic funk emotionally. Physically, I swear I can feel each sign of age and deterioration going on in my body.
Good news is that before the holidays I finally sought help and am slowly pulling myself together. My biggest hurtle right now is not focusing on the decisions that have brought me here. Hindsight has revealed them not to be the best but they were the decisions I made with "the information I had at the time".
One thing that helps me immensely is my love of sewing. Unless, of course I am paralyzing myself with indecision and procrastination for fear of making a mistake. Which, by the way, seems to be the old strategy for running my life that did not work. So I need to change that in order to get back on track. Some of my best and worst experiences, jobs, and relationships seemed to just "happen" without any direct action from me. I have made the mistake of letting my day-to-day life and its circumstances lead me to and fro instead of actively leading the way.
I have some goals for the new year but I'm not making any resolutions. In fact, some of my goals are so basic as to be laughable but when you have been brought low, those are some of the hardest to accomplish. Goals like getting appropriate sleep (I have a bad habit of actually going to bed in the early hours of the next day), eating healthy, and caring about my appearance (I kept putting off fixing a cracked tooth, I don't know when was my last professional haircut, and sometimes I let my gray roots get ridiculous.)
I need to put myself back together again and hopefully you will see signs of the progress here on the blog, whether my sewing output increases or my posts start to reflect more interests and experiences outside of sewing. I'm looking forward to learning a new way of thinking (and reacting) after all these years of my dreams feeling out of reach.
I guess I could say that my overall theme for 2017 is To Be Better.
P.S. One of my smaller goals might involve participating in my first PR weekend!
4 comments:
Welcome to 2017. Your story sounds so like mine... no real direction, procrastination and things that just happen. However great to see you are on a new path. I love reading your blog and really look forward to reading more this year. Just naming things here indicates strength to me. Onwards and upwards.
Hey Lisa! The PR dates have been finalized, Fri and Sat, June 2 and 3 in NYC. Fri is the panel discussion and Sat is the shopping day. It would be cool to see you there!
Lisa, I'm so glad you sought help. One thing at a time. Just wanted to let you know I enjoy your blog very much! Here's to 2017 and moving forwar!
Thank yourself for getting help. A positive change. Sometimes being 'bullied' is such a subtle thing. It's not all 'playground fights'. It happens in the best work places and the most closely knit families. I know, I just came out of the most trying time and if I did not receive the help available, I'd have been stuck. The best part is getting back to sewing and knowing exactly what I now want to sew. Wishing you the very best of 2017.
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