What is wrong with putting others first?

I saw on Shelterrific that Martha Stewart now has a blog, The Bride's Guide, for her Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. The site's blogger Darcy Miller has been editor of the wedding issues for years and is listed as the site "Wedding Expert."

The site has only been up since August 1 but they already have quite a controversy brewing. It seems Ms. Miller wore WHITE to a friend's wedding and wrote about it on the blog. Her reasons did not go over very well with the readership. Or me.

She told someone at her office about the ivory dress she was going to wear and they told her not to wear it. She polled her office and they all (overwhelmingly, she said) thought she should not wear it. Now, remember, all of these people know and write about weddings every day. However, that was not enough for her. After researching etiquette books with various different views on the subject, she went ahead and wore the dress.



Her conclusion was that if the wearer could handle the scrutiny then it's okay. What about showing the bride respect? What about for one day, just one day, letting your personal wants give way for someone's happiness? Was this white dress the only thing she had to wear? No. Or did she end up wearing it just because she still wanted to wear it? Yes.

I can see no other reason than perhaps selfishness, vanity, or a plain lack of awareness. Her decision had nothing to do with deciding that some wedding rules are outdated. I surely don't believe a bride HAS to wear white, a veil, a long dress, or throw a garter or bouquet. But none of those things affect or show disrespect to anyone else.

In my opinion, Ms. Miller made a mistake making this kind of statement in the guise of a wedding expert when it was obviously a personal decision.