How I Bought My Home

In my May 6 post, I showed you my inspirational photos. Well, below are the influences I read and viewed that motivated me and made it all possible.

The last few years have been stressful. It started with the pandemic, working from home, caring for my father and his diminishing health, his sudden cardiac episode that lead to a pacemaker, his recovery, and then his sudden death. I don't know what a stress-free life is. 

A year later in 2023, my sisters and I decided to sell the family home, where I had lived the last ten years. Theoretically, that was great, I could finally own a place where I could do what I wanted. But truthfully, that loaded on more stress because I would need to do both things around the same time. Luckily, I did not have to wait to sell before I could buy.

Two weeks before the pandemic, my part-time job became full-time, then our offices were closed, and the employees started working from home. I lived rent-free and my gas and meal costs were cut by more than half. I didn't change my way of life so that extra money was never touched. When I finally checked my account, my balance was over $20,000! I transferred that and regularly moved the extra money to my savings account. By the time we decided to sell the house I had received my portion of our inheritance and now had enough for a 20% down payment. That relieved some of the stress and gave me much-needed control over my future.

I started looking into "buying a first home" resources. The first two below were essential and truly helped me make solid decisions. You need to think about the home-buying process in practical terms. Observing my co-workers, I knew how quickly rents could rise and how I might find a great rental and in a few years be forced to move. So renting while waiting for the "perfect" place was not how I wanted to go. Even if I had to stretch to buy a place, I could have a set monthly mortgage and possibly refinance in the future and pay a smaller amount.

The purchase amount lenders qualify you for probably should not be your goal because their numbers reflect ideal situations. I was lucky to get something $20,000 below my qualification, resulting in a sustainable monthly payment because you never know what the future holds...knock on wood. 

Now, I didn't buy a lessor home, it has the style and uniqueness I wanted. I have friends and family nearby, my mechanic is around the corner as well as a grocery store, drugstore, and gas station within two blocks and work ten minutes away. What the place lacked for that money was any updated finishes, which luckily by buying a less expensive property I have the means to change. Not anything huge, but I can add new doorknobs, painted cabinets, rugs, new blinds/curtains, and maybe new ceiling fans and custom shelving down the line.

Resources:

Ric Edelman: His book, Truth About Money, is a good all-around guide to personal finances and uses plain language so it's highly understandable. As part of the author's company, Edelman Wealth Management Group, there is this valuable tool, a How Much Home Can I Afford? calculator that helped me calculate how much I wanted to pay.

New York Times: Is It Better To Rent or Buy? calculator. So detailed and the accompanying information is so good.

New York Times: The Hunt home-buying columns. The budgets were much higher than I was playing with, but these stories were still motivational. I applaud them for opening up the stories to non-New York locations.

Nolo's Essential Guide to Buying Your First Home by Ann O’Connell and Ilona Bray. This one backs up its advice with legal know-how.

Alexandra Gater: Her series of videos on YouTube got me through the buying process and showed what I could do in a new place. Her makeovers focus on Toronto rental apartments but reminded me I didn't have to start with permanent changes. I'd been waiting decades to get my place so I could take some time and try out a few things first; like removable wallpaper (her go-to) and faux backsplash tiles.

Caroline Winkler: This Washington, DC interior designer I'm following on YouTube is a great contrast to Alexandra. Her mood is more my vibe, not so sunny and less gimmicky (no memes!). Her gateway videos are $0 makeovers where she uses what currently existed in the space. Definitely check out her Interior Design for Indecisive People video.

Emily Henderson: You may have already heard of her, she's a big deal. However, my interest was in the lower-scale makeovers that her staff undertook on their personal spaces. I saw concepts in those that I could see applying to a space of mine. I especially liked the colorful spaces of Jess, Caitlin, and especially Julie's bedroom.

Mortgage or Marriage*: This Netflix series first entertained me and then just annoyed me! Couples with a set budget (enough to cover a house down payment in Nashville, TN) are given the option of a dream wedding or house. The two hosts then compete to find a home or a wedding package that fits the couple's specifications. These plans include vendor discounts, freebies, or added home amenities to sway their decision. What annoyed me is that so many couples with concrete reasons why a house should be their priority, chose to spend the whole amount on a one-day event. Even after walking through an available property and declaring it perfect. As if accumulating another $20-$30,000 will be easy after they wed. I cheered every time someone chose a mortgage and hoped they were inspired by those $$ wedding ideas and scale them down to something they could afford.

Pinterest: What can I say, my entire design plan was created using this app. Among my boards, I have everything corralled; Possible Purchases, Home Projects, Painted Doors and Trim, Kitchen Cabinet Makeovers, and Paint Effects, all devoted to improving my home.

*So, why is this one of my influences? Like most "reality" TV it showed me the grass is NOT always greener, especially knowing this was all in 2019. They should have taken the house...

The Good Guy

A stranger reinforced my faith in my fellow man.

Yesterday, I ran out of gas. This was not a surprise as my tank had been working dangerously below empty for two days already. I had overextended myself and was in the red on my checking account, just trying to make it to Friday when my paycheck would be deposited.

However, yesterday after work, I had to pre-pump the gas pedal a lot to get the car to start and in the few moments while I was waiting to pull out in traffic it started to stall. I decided I had to bite the bullet and drove to the 7-11 a block away. As I pulled next to the pump I realized if my ATM card didn't work, I probably wouldn't be able to start my car up again. I knew I had a negative balance but I was hoping (ridiculously hoping, right?) that I could get $5-10 out. Of course, my card was declined at the pump and then declined inside. As I'm telling my story about practically driving on fumes, the guy behind me waiting to buy cigarettes asks "Are you out of gas?" The second after I say yes, he holds out the $20 bill he was about to give the cashier. After I say, "Really?" about three times and stare at him he hands the money straight to the cashier and says to put the entire $20 on my pump. All I can do is stare at his profile incredulously and say "Thank you, thank you so much."

It's not until after I pumped the gas and sat in my car that I realized how I had NO backup plan, no other credit card, and no cash. Without this guy I would have ended up crying in my car for a while. I would have been able to get people to push my car away from the pump, leave it there, and walk the 2.5 miles home but I would first have to beat myself up about it. This has got to stop, I SO need a new job.

So thank you, mystery guy*!! I will pay it forward in your honor.


* Most distractingly, he was also quite cute. ; )

Thank you...and See You Soon

Thanks everybody for the beautiful words about my Good 'N Plenty dress! I was so overwhelmed and touched by how many of you decided to comment to let me know you liked it. Lately, I wondered if anyone was even reading this site. I definitely suggest you all make yourselves one as it really was easy, even though I dragged my feet on mine.

I am finishing up one last wardrobe item and then I'm clearing up my sewing/craft area for a while. I don't like how sewing has become just another thing on my seemingly endless to-do list instead of being something I can't wait to get home to do. So, I'm taking a break. I'll also be taking a break from this blog and from SHELTERhome. I need to devote myself to another higher priority task which involves making more money so that I can pay some bills. I think I was using sewing, blogging, and reading blogs as an excuse sometimes. A very flimsy excuse, at that.

So, I have one last post here (maybe next week) and there is a doozy of a post that I just put up here. If you like the mid-century set decor of Mad Men, how about looking at my break-down of the one set that has not received any Internet love until now...I present to you the very feminine and put together home of young married couple Joan and Greg Harris. How no one else has written about this little jewel box of an apartment beats me. I hope you will enjoy the time and research that I put into it.

By the way, it is my third breakdown of a female TV characters' home, check out my other posts on Mary Richards and Monica Geller-Bing.

Take care, and I hope you'll be around in a month or so for my return because I have some great projects planned on the horizon.

Wish me luck!

One of those days...

I'm having one of those days that is so bad you have a hard time thinking about it and when you think about it your stomach knots up.

All I want to do is procrastinate (like writing on my blog, cutting out a new dress, doing laundry) instead of dealing with it. I need a new job.

I put my car in the shop because it desperately needed it. Loud mystery noises, no AC during the hottest June on record here, and the VA state inspection was due. Now my car is stuck at the mechanics because the only credit card I still have does not have the space for this repair and I do not have the cash for it either. I was so sure I had at least $200 available, but no.

So, besides that I literally do not have the money to get through this month especially if my landlord expects the full rent payment. However, I'm hoping I can get a few hundred off that because of the lack of ac for an entire week and the expected higher electricity bills for the two portable AC units that they put in place now. I did sell a pattern today but $7 isn't really going to help much. How did I do this to myself?!!!!

Anniversary Time

.
Today, I am forty-one years old.

I don't know what I think about it yet, but first thing this morning, these lyrics came into my head...

"...another year older and deeper in debt*"


So. Not good?



* from "Sixteen Tons", by Merle Travis, written in 1946.

D Is For Dentistry

By the time you read this post I will be in a dentist's office finding out what they can do for a tooth that split apart last night.

The fact is, I was eating cheese popcorn but it happened with so little fanfare that I think it would have happened with anything. There was and has been no pain, I just suddenly tasted metal (my filling) and that was it. It even took a few minutes for me to find the fragment in my mouth. Basically because of the filling in the middle there wasn't much "tooth" left there anyway. Luckily, it was the back half of the tooth so I don't look any different. However, my tongue can't help seeking out the ragged edges of the exposed filling constantly.

I am writing this so that you can wish me luck that this will be a simple and hopefully reasonable fix for this. If not, I may have just bankrupt myself. Merry Christmas! I already hit my insurance cap this year and unless the cap for the dentistry part of my insurance is separate there's no more money until February 1. (VISA card, do you have any room left?)

I think they should warn you when you are getting low on coverage. "You have the equivalent of $300 left for the year, we at Aetna suggest that you forgo that next prescription and just take care of your flu symptoms at home with Advil. Thank you very much and have a nice day!"

Ma'am IS a Four-Letter Word

I had an interview last Monday for seasonal help at a retail store I think most of my readers would love to work at or better yet have the money to shop there whenever they pleased. I was so wrecked getting ready for the interview. They normally hold group interviews but I got a solo one. Weather this was a good call or not we will see.

The weather had turned suddenly that weekend; what was 80-90 degrees the day before was now in the 50s that morning. The incredibly cute outfit I had been planning on wearing was no longer going to work. So I needed something warm to wear. I grabbed a long blazer coat that was a winner when I was working a more corporate job. Hey, it still wasn't traditional, it was more of a frock coat length, but yes, there were no fun ripply labels, bows, or corsages. However, I was wearing my cool Clark pumps and chocolate brown fishnets.

However, I was also wearing my glasses, which I don't show on my blog but which (I think) age me a few years. So when I walk into the store, the manager lets me know she'll be right with me. And get this? She ends that statement with the dreaded word, ma'am. I'd been "ma'amed"!

And when I left the store later (I looked around after the interview) the sales person at the door (who definitely saw me interviewing) said..." Have a nice day, ma'am"

I window shop there often and have never had them say that before to me. That's not a good sign is it? Damn my wardrobe!

Wish me luck, none-the-less.

My mood and my money...

and my money and my mood.

Here is something just in time for National Honesty Month. I was reading through my blogs and in a post on Already Pretty I saw this line:

"The main problem I have is that the act of spending money is strongly linked to both independence and power in my mind."

Sally McGraw

Wow. At this point in time, I have neither. And it's a good guess that might be the source of my mental lethargy and depression. I have a job that I took "temporarily" (almost two years ago) to get a foot into a career field, hoping that it would be a stepping stone to something bigger and better. By taking this job, I took a pay cut on top of the one I had taken when I moved back to Richmond five (long) years ago. With school loans and the general rise in the cost of living, that hasn't turned out to be a good idea. It's even worse than the "take a year off, get a loan, and finish your college degree" idea I had before this job. That degree is still AWOL and that money is now due.

I do live alone (for now) but that doesn't mean I am independent. The money (which means security to me) is just not there.

It's not that I have a spending problem. I don't. This is just my regular bills that are a problem, along with three school loans that I have to repay because I'm not in school this semester. However, to get those bills back in remission, I'd have to enroll in two classes and put that $2,000 (tuition & books) on one of my credit cards in order to attend. Which would then increase my minimum monthly payments and well... a Catch 22 abounds.

I used to be SO good with money, I was that lone kid in college who really did only use their credit card for emergencies.

So, at this point, I am just taking it step by step, day by day.

Does It Ever End?

Due to some last minute signatures needed from the VA State government, I had to stay home today from work. So, yes even more money I won't get paid this week.

Job, Schmob...

What a kick in the head...

Everyone in the US is currently trying to KEEP the jobs that they currently have. However, I can't afford to stay at my job any longer. I am in the hole every month due to my school loan payments and the minimum payments of a credit card or two. I also can't afford to continue with school any time soon. Without my tax refund, who knows where I would be today. Seriously.

So, out in the job market I must go. I have a great idea for a side business for extra money; however, I don't make enough money that I can leisurely wait the one to two months to get it up and running.

I always believed in doing something that you were actually interested in, if not love. However, it seems I tend to like the unappreciated jobs; basically anything involved in keeping old things around like buildings.

The resume was rewritten months ago but it was written around my strengths in event planning and logistics. So I have to rewrite it now to emphasize the more marketable administrative assistant-type things that I do that I don't necessarily love or enjoy.

So that's what's weighing on my mind recently.

Psst! On a lighter note, don't forget about my giveaway!

Update: Positive

Well, I had my belly dance class on Tuesday and I loved it! I was worried that I was really rusty since I hadn't used some of those muscles for five years. But no, I was keeping up with the other girls who had taken it last session. Two days later and I'm still not sore so my muscles must be pretty good. I had so much energy the next day. So yeah, this exercise thing is really going to help me out.

I finally finished my taxes and I will be getting back a check for more money than I make in a month! Of course, I don't make that much in a month, but still..."it's a good thing," as Martha would say. This will also help me out immensely.

I have many projects on my plate right now, so I'm doing a little bit each night:

• two stuffed animals for one newborn and one upcoming baby shower
• a musical keyboard cover for a friend in exchange for some computer help
• that Burdastyle Anda dress (just haven't had time to do anything past sewing up the side seams)
• make a sash for that gray skirt (though I did take out that 2nd row of elastic that was making me feel thick in the waist)
• other misc. mending jobs (hems, repair tears, replace buttons and other fasteners)

Let's just say, TGIF, TGIF!


Victoria Secret chandelier sandals I always associate with belly dancing. I so wish I had bought these years ago! (Now, I'd feel guilty having such an impractical pair of shoes.)

Great Gift Idea!

I just saw this on The Sale Rack. Excellent gift idea for the holidays: Give folks what they are cutting back on!

In this economic upheaval, people are choosing to cut back on luxury and not-so luxury items. Why not help them out? What could be sweeter?

Thank You!

Thank you for the virtual hugs, I really appreciate the support.

Well, I sadly realized I wasn't in shock...I just wasn't surprised by the situation. The last two years have been bad in terms of forward momentum (none) and achieving goals (slow-going). Just as I think I'm almost done with school - BAMM! - two more classes.

Which really is more of a problem than it seems. I already knew I would have to take another loan to pay for the Spring semester but now I have to add the cost of three more classes to that amount. I also have learned that two classes at a time with a full-time job is extremely difficult and there's no way I could do three. My original plan was to do two in the Spring. My college has a summer semester where all the classes are at a set time 5 days a week in 4 to 5 week sessions. Hey, do other colleges do this? The only time I was able to participate in this system was when I was either unemployed or two years ago when an employer allowed me to cut my hours down to 35 per week. I think that is the only way I could even attempt to do this again. However, this time it would be all summer long in order to fit three classes and I have a job which barely allows me to pay my bills each month as it is.

So that's my dilemma. I need to work to pay for them but I need less work to study for them or to even attend them. So, I'm polishing up the resume (alongside all the newly laid-off people in my town.) Woo hoo, this is going to be fun.

Can you sense how much I want this to be over?

Ciao for now...

Due to outside complications and the fact that I am having a doozy of an allergy attack (can't concentrate, have no energy) blogging at An Examined Life will be taking at least a week's rest. I hope it doesn't take much longer but I need to handle a few things (health, school, job, maybe an additional job(?) etc.)

If you miss me, then check out my blog roll. You'll never be bored with those folks. See you soon!

Me, shopping?

Well, that last post was a hoot wasn't it? I first write about not having money to spend and then I write about stuff I'm about to buy. Well, that's what happens when delusion sets in and you haven't looked at your bank balance lately.

However, I DO need a cardigan for work but after thinking about the Target loot, did I really want a short sleeve cardigan? I had to remind myself that my goal for a cardigan was one that would keep me warm at work and for that I really do need sleeves. So, I decided to do a little cyber window shopping and found these two beauties at Old Navy (aka ON). I love the cable knits, the heathered colors, the general slouchiness, and of course the full-length sleeves.

Hooded tie-waist, $45 Cable knit, $35

So how was I going to make up my mind? By going to Old Navy and trying them on. I tend to try a variety of sizes to see which looks best on me. I tried most of the cardigans on in large and medium. Because of the length some looked great in the shoulder area but when it got to the hips, they either would not button up, didn't look good if they did button, or just "cupped the bum" far too much. Here are some photos; most are headless because it seems I make bizarre faces when photographing my clothes for some reason!

Hooded Tie-waist

Cable Knit
Check out these collar variations!

Even though I was there to try on cardigans only, this little sweater dress caught my eye so I also tried it on in medium and small. It's cool and I liked it. However, because of it's neckline it needs to be layered over something else. Worn with my racer-back tank, the bottom of my knit top was lumpy around the waist area. It might have been fine if the dress had a waist seam but because of the empire styling, the tank's bottom hem was very noticeable. So I would suggest a good crewneck or v-neck slip dress to wear under this dress. Otherwise, it is a very cute dress! However, because it was not a cardigan, it was not to be this time.

Hooded sweater dress $35



Next: My adventures at Target...

Monopoly, anyone?

I've decided in these dark financial days that the only treats I will buy myself are going to come from my advertising revenue from these two sites. I need every other penny to go toward credit cards or savings.

Currently, I make only around $7-$15 per month between An Examined Life and SHELTERhome and am about two and a half months away from my next $100 check from Google. I'm considering changing up and trying the BlogHer advertising program. Since you are the ones who do the clicking, does anyone have suggestions as to which one is better? What kind of ads would you like to see here? I'd really appreciate your feedback.

To clarify, my goal isn't big bucks (Though I wouldn't send it back!) since treats for me are simple: jewelry (currently have no earrings or a working watch), makeup (I want a new lipstick but I have several in the "still can scrape it out of the tube" stage), a professional haircut (been cutting my own since 2002), and new sheets and towels (mine are six years old or older).

Yes, those are the kind of things I deprive myself of when times are lean. As you can see, I'm not even talking trips, shoes, or clothing. That kind of money has to be secured ahead of time before I even think about those things.

In the future, the things you will see me make or sew on these blogs will be from materials I already have in-house.* Almost my entire fabric stash send me pangs of guilt each time I see it because the many unfinished projects represent money I could still have. So I won't buy new things until I finish the old* or secure the money elsewhere (via Lowe's gift certificates, selling something on eBay, trade, etc.)

By the way, I was raised that you don't look complete if you don't have earrings on, so the purchase of earrings was first. (I just ordered two very affordable pairs from this Etsy seller.)

*With a few exceptions: a cardigan or winter jacket and a warm knit or corduroy dress/jumper for my climate-controlled office.

Is my math really right?

At least by my calculations, I only have three more classes to take to graduate. Two History and one Art History class for a total of 9 credits.

I am having a hard time believing that my goal is so close; only one (or two) more semester(s)!

Going back to school as adult began in summer of 2003 and may be done by summer of 2009. Wow.

It's been such a big part of my life for so long. At times, it's been the reason I used for not fully living my life sometimes: such as the reason why I wasn't dating, wasn't sewing, wasn't calling my family or friends, the reason I couldn't go out and most of all, the reason why I had no money. To no longer have that as a shield means I'll have to step up on everything and put myself out there.

Ugggh...I'm scared.

Take a cleansing breath...

Well, after getting this far with Wardrobe Therapy, I realize that I have far more clothes in my closet than I need or wear. I have so many "one day I might wear that" and "if A happens, I will need to wear B" outfits, it is ridiculous. Because, for years, A has not happened and B just sits around and mocks me. Or more correctly, A's have not been filling up my social calendar and those many, many B's are hanging in my closet taking up space.

I have lived on so little money for so many years that I think I am now scared to give away all of my "make-do" clothes (and furniture) for fear that I will ever be able to afford nicer replacements.

Yes, I know that may come off as sad and pathetic. However, if I were really o.k. with living on less (and with less) that would not be a problem, would it?

So, over this summer, I am really going to use the outbox concept of the original Cure and items like these are going to come out of my closest. I had been putting them to the side but it still makes my wardrobe look vast. I will now deal with just looking at the clothes that I deem wearable and that I actually wear. Everything else will go into the outbox (which I hope to hide this time) and await judgment at a later date.

Any thoughts?

Patience is a power

Six months ago:

An excerpt from a never-posted entry entitled "I want a new life":

This one, well, I can't seem to get it to go anywhere. I moved here full of vim and vigor four years ago. Now, no vim, no vigor. I'm in debt, out of work, and because I can't pay for more classes, my school loans are now due.

Four years ago, I had everything going for me. I was eager and motivated. In February, I quit my soul-sucking job (my 3rd!) to attend school full-time and get a part-time job. I had enough money in loans to finish my degree, buy a laptop, and perhaps help out on paying for my graduation trip to Italy. That is, if I had gotten that part-time job. Well, I didn't and therefore went through the money much faster. Now I'm hoping that the last interview I went on worked.

Depressing, right?

Now:

• Thursday I finished my last class and last exam for the spring semester. School is officially out for summer! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and even the load that was weighing on that weight was lifted. That one was full of guilt about not doing the other stuff I wanted to accomplish while working 40 hours, taking two classes, publishing my two blogs, and writing a column for another blog. You know, keeping in touch with your existing friends, making new friends, and perhaps having a date before 2010.
• I got on the scale Friday morning (and double-checked just now) somehow, since the last time I got on the scale, I have gained FIVE pounds! Woo hoo! This accomplishment means so much more than numbers. For the past year, I have been in survivor mode with no appetite, my clothes falling off me, and no energy because of anemia and insomnia. This weight gain means I am finally rallying from that depressive year of unemployment, 2007. Finally.
• I checked my account balance and there is cushion money in both checking and in savings thanks to my tax refunds! In addition, I finally made the goal of $100 through blog advertising revenue and will be receiving my first check before the end of the month! This doesn't mean I'm swimming in money just yet but I can now start saving for the fall semester without starving.

So what I'm trying to say...is prepare to start seeing dispatches from "the summer of Lisa" this next few months...I'm feeling energized!

Breathing a Little Easier

Whew!!

Today, I found out that I was accepted for Anthem's cheaper health insurance plan, Essential KeyCare.

Instead of paying that $389 premium, I will now be paying $228, a savings of $161 dollars a month!

Now in order to get this, I did have to raise my deductible from my usual $500 to $1,500. So my goal is stay healthy.

Duh? When wasn't that the goal?