It's the beginning of a new year and in order for it to be an improvement over the worst year of my life (2014) major changes must be made.
I found last year that even though sewing was a great release from the constant stress and/or malaise I was experiencing the final result was not satisfying. First there was the fact that sewing time was hard won and projects took a long time whether I was motivated to finish them or not.
Then the knowledge that I would have no occasion to wear these clothes or my other past handmade garments was depressing. I have no social life here and no time to cultivate one with my inconsistent retail hours. I just worked seven 8-hour days in a row! I don't know for sure but that is something I know would never have happened in any office job I've ever had without a conversation happening between employer and employee first, right?
Sewing was the least that I could do to calm myself down when work conflicts or arguments with my father occurred.
Therefore, I doubt there will be much sewing in the future as I try to secure a new more "healthy for me" job/life. I need to pursue an office job where I can use my hard-won skills, experience, and again feel intelligent and accomplished.
I will be reading from a more selective list of blogs that correspond more directly to my own style since keeping up with the 80+ Bloglovin' group I currently read has become another wildly successful procrastination tool. Also, my love of Internet TV will need to decrease. My consumption is crazy, especially when it concerns British programs.
I do have a huge fear, as sewing has been my only joy (however compromised) that I have, I am scared what might become of me without it.
I don't want to get used to this lifestyle any more than I already have. I heard someone say that "the life you are living now is the life you deserve". Hell no! This is the life my emotionally broken-down self started to think was all I was worth, which is not the same thing at all. My life has been so much better than this and I HAVE to believe it will be that again.