Friday, October 09, 2009

My mood and my money...

and my money and my mood.

Here is something just in time for National Honesty Month. I was reading through my blogs and in a post on Already Pretty I saw this line:
Sally McGraw

Wow. At this point in time, I have neither. And it's a good guess that might be the source of my mental lethargy and depression. I have a job that I took "temporarily" (almost two years ago) to get a foot into a career field, hoping that it would be a stepping stone to something bigger and better. By taking this job, I took a pay cut on top of the one I had taken when I moved back to Richmond five (long) years ago. With school loans and the general rise in the cost of living, that hasn't turned out to be a good idea. It's even worse than the "take a year off, get a loan, and finish your college degree" idea I had before this job. That degree is still AWOL and that money is now due.

I do live alone (for now) but that doesn't mean I am independent. The money (which means security to me) is just not there.

It's not that I have a spending problem. I don't. This is just my regular bills that are a problem, along with three school loans that I have to repay because I'm not in school this semester. However, to get those bills back in remission, I'd have to enroll in two classes and put that $2,000 (tuition & books) on one of my credit cards in order to attend. Which would then increase my minimum monthly payments and well... a Catch 22 abounds.

I used to be SO good with money, I was that lone kid in college who really did only use their credit card for emergencies.

So, at this point, I am just taking it step by step, day by day.


drwende said...

You're still good with money -- you just don't HAVE any to be good with. If you were bad with money, you'd be seriously in debt instead of avoiding thrift stores.

Unless you're at a very good deal with your credit cards already, it's worth a call to the companies to see if they can cut you a better one. That might open some options for you.

Kerry said...

I know the paralysis very, very well.

The only thing that helps is a lot of positive self-talk, tiny goals, and trying free yourself from perfectionism. I had a hard time from 2006-2008 being unemployed/underemployed, and I hope you can start to break out of it soon. Maybe just a little professional help?

lsaspacey said...

Kerry, what kind of professional help? Any suggestions?

Kerry said...

I'd look for someone with a MSW who does counseling--you're depressed but still functional and don't have a larger deeper issue just the need to be accountable and get a push to get started on figuring your way out of this. Someone should be able to help you with this in a few sessions, but I'm not a professional, just someone who goes to therapy every so often.

I'd also chat up someone about the larger financial picture, but at the moment on what you've given you have two issues to figure out--is it worth it to forestall loan repayment by using credit cards to finish the degree, and what does your longer range financial picture look like, and how can you maximize your strengths.

Mariela Alethia said...

You are not alone. I know someone in a similar situation, who is very bad with money, is serously in debt and doesn't seem to know when to avoid situations that will make the situation worst!