Sunday, March 08, 2009

Ok, this is hard to post...

Two weeks ago I withdrew from my spring semester class, the History of Modern England.

I shouldn't have signed up for it in the first place. My last class (again with that horrid little man*) ended in a fiery crash & burn. I should have taken a break after that but I felt I couldn't "waste" the semester. You know since I've been "counting down" the credits till completion. But then that is exactly what I DID do.

I had no motivation to study and when I did do the readings there was no retention of what I read. And what was worse, no real guilt. Bad, really bad. I've been here before and that's not good at all.

What is really unfortunate is that I didn't come to this decision 4 or 5 weeks ago when I could have received a refund for at least a portion of my tuition (which I could use to pay on a credit card or a damn school loan!**) So let that be a $900 wake-up call to me. "Do not go back to school until you actually want to AND can succeed at it!!!!

I have a lot of work to do on myself now. I already feel better and making those doctors appointments were a step in the right direction. Hopefully, a new diet, some exercise (my class starts on Tuesday!), some kick-a-- pharmaceuticals, and some talk therapy will get me in shape so I can graduate sometime before the year 2525.

* He unfortunately teaches a large amount of the classes that I need to take. Arggghh!
** Since I wasn't signed up for part-time status (2 classes = 6 credits) I am already in extra $180 a month I now have to pay.


drwende said...

Yeah, that's one of those situations where you just kind of kick yourself around the block. But it sounds like you're dealing with the results constructively, and sometimes moving forward is all you can do.

Antoinette said...

Girl, I know those late decisions that cost -- sometimes financial cost, sometimes emotional cost, often both. How wonderful to have the wherewithal and additional time now to focus on you. Hang in there! Spring is coming, as is the time for renewal, rebirth, etc. :)

scb said...

The price you would have paid in non-monetary terms if you had stayed in the class far outweighs the price you had to pay in not getting a refund, in my small opinion. Having dropped a class or two in the past, I have a bit of experience -- and to this day, I'm glad I dropped those classes.

Take care of *yourself* -- that's what's important here.

Gretchen the Household Deity said...

That kind of thing is annoying, but you can be proud that you are doing the right thing for yourself! Hang in there.

thefarmersdaughter said...

I dropped two classes once for that very reason. I didn't want to be there. No matter what it costs, I think that in the long run it's better for you.
And, as SCB said- I have never regretted dropping those classes when I did -and it all worked out in the end.
Take care of yourself!

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